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ma petite lumière

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ma petite lumière

a creative outlet + nonlinear collection of musings on unlearning how to destroy and remembering how to create. designed to enlighten, empower and humor.

Tag: beYOUtiful

Posted on December 11, 2017December 11, 2017

12.10.17 | Day 460 | Musings + Reflections

Posted on October 12, 2017October 12, 2017

day 401 – you + me

Posted on October 11, 2017

day 400 – observing world mental health day

Posted on July 21, 2017July 21, 2017

day 318 – so, i had an awakening…

Posted on July 14, 2017

day 311 – you look greatest when…

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“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. As longs as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles.” ― Anne Frank • Happy Earth Day 🌎

The face of a lady who: - Washed, dried, folded and put away ALL the laundry - Did two full loads of dishes - Vacuumed the ENTIRE house - Successfully got her ten-year-old daughter to clean her whole room, do her daily reading assignment, AND converted her to a My Chemical Romance fan (we watched all their music videos + some live footage -- she's got the same birthday as @gerardway btw) - Played a shit ton of tag with her two-year-old son - Has had a huge-ass pot homemade Bolognese sauce simmering since 3 p.m. - Is currently exhausted, starving, smelly + happy as fuck • Days like today are more rare than a Chupacabra sighting, so an actual "selfie" + celebratory documentation was necessary. • It was a good day to have a good day. Now time to eat, shower and watch Star Trek Deep Space Nine. (Yes, still. We only have 1.25 seasons left to go -- there's seven seasons in total, each season being roughly 20ish episodes long. 🖖) • Hope you all have had a good one. I love you. 🌻

I designed (or as I like to call it, "repurposed") this quote last week, late one night in my hotel room. Then I left it alone, buried in a "works in progress" folder, literally saving it for a rainy day. Guess what's making its way out of the thick grey sky right now, y'all? And it couldn't have come at a better time either, if you ask me. ⛈ • “There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.” ― Jane Austen • Sometimes "others" can be the rotating, discouraging voices in your head, too. • Don't listen to them. • You/I/We are stronger than we think, and are meant to live out our dreams. Don't let anything or anyone *yourself included* tell you otherwise. 🌻

“We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. [...] By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies - all these are private and, except through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable.” ― Aldous Huxley • Insomnia has got its grip on me, but I'm about to combat it with my trusty Valerian root here momentarily. • This is another self-portrait from earlier, where I spontaneously attempted my take on glitter tears for the first time, and it was honestly so liberating and invigorating being able to play "dress-up" and muse. Afterwards, I felt wholly rejuvenated, which was also a welcomed sense of comfort. • I'm aware I don't have to document all this *~stuff~*, and maybe one day I'll stop saying this aloud and/or feeling the (in)voluntary need to passive aggressively "apologize"... but until then, I'll continue to (mostly) work through my shit, creatively + publicly, instead of wallowing in it privately. • The 10+ years I spent (more like lost) drinking kept me continuously wishing I could be somebody else's muse; that an artistic, free-spirited soul with macabre tendencies that could rival my own, would one day answer my desperate (pathetic) prayers and longing, and I convinced myself that type of third-party chemistry was what would rescue me from myself and my loathing. So I would drink and dream until I drowned. • In *~this~* life, however, my sober life... I am the artist, the muse, the heroine, the nymph, the goddess, and the conqueress. I gently let my times of unabridged vulnerability guide me, as well as gallantly allow my times of bliss to dominate my being in its entirety, and fully feeling *every bit of emotional writhing* that naturally occurs in between. • Healing can hurt like hell, but I wouldn't have it any other way. • Sweet dreams, fellow magical misfits, bodacious babes + hearts of gold. 🌻

4.20.18 Self-Portrait, Day 591 My New Favorite 🌻 • "She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.” ― Rainbow Rowell • I sat down to write on my lunch break, writing turned into dancing, dancing turned into a spontaneous first attempt at glitter tears (à la @colormebrian on @yelyahwilliams), which turned into a kind of happiness I have not had in a minute, which resulted in my new favorite self-portrait. And that obviously turned into an impulsive IG post, despite the fact I am still very much working through everything I mentally put myself through this week. • I've NEVER been able to take a photo of myself in a way that 100% accurately captured + depicted *everything* I was feeling inside and out, in the way this photograph does. #FuckYeahCellphoneCameras 🌻 • • • • 🍃🌻🍃 #MaPetiteLumiere #CelebrateTheLittleThings #TheHappyNow #MakePortraits #SheRecovers #SoberNotBoring #RecoverOutLoud #SelfLove #WeAreTheLuckiest #SoberLoudAndProud #EndTheStigma #MentalHealth #LivingLaVidaSober #YouAreNotAlone #ItGetsBetter #WeDoRecover #AllTheFuckingHastags 🍃🌻🍃

Recent Posts

day 589 – i am here to live out loud April 18, 2018
day 586 – remembering what it’s like to be me April 15, 2018
12.10.17 | Day 460 | Musings + Reflections December 11, 2017
day 401 – you + me October 12, 2017
day 400 – observing world mental health day October 11, 2017

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